Let's Cross The Bridge When We Get There

by: college boi

Story: Alam ko sa sarili ko na hindi ako normal. I admit, I do have bisexual tendecies. I'm Chen, 18, from San Francisco, Ca. I've had girlfriends, better yet, flings. They usually do not last long. I get tired after a while so I end up breaking up with them. Ang pinaka iniyakan ko among these heterosexual relationship is when my-ex, Ashley, broke up with me. Next thing I knew is that she was dating one of my girl pals in high school! Sakit kaya nun! But we remained friends and would just laugh off the incident that happened between us. We would talk about the times when we made love as a joke. We're open about it. Unknown to my friends, I am hiding the real me under this "cool guy, chickboy" mask. I have a softspot for cute guys as well. July 2007, I bought a new computer set with my mom. Siyempre, excited! First thing I did after getting my internet connection was to download YM! And I did. One time I entered a gay chatroom on YM, when someone IM-ed me... This guys was Noel (not his real name). to make the long story short, we introduced each other. He told me that he is a third year Nursing Student sa Olongapo. I am a first year Political Science student here in San Francisco, Ca. He's 19, only a year older than me. We got to know each other. I am the type of guy who would fall in love easily (but would fall out of love easily too!) We've been constant chatmates since then. I did a lot for him and he knows that. Pero there a things that I also regret. I drove Noel away twice. What I don't understand is kung bakit siya bumabalik sa akin. There was a point na merong isang schoolmate sa college ang pumoporma sa akin. Si Tom. In fairness, he's white, 6'4", athletic built, compared to me na 5'3" and too lazy to hit the gym! He invited me to his family's placein Roanoake, Virginia over the Thanksgiving Break and I obliged. I flew all the way from California to Virginia. I stayed sa bahay nila for three days, until we both flew back to San Francisco. Take note, during that break, walang ibang nangyari sa amin kundi kiss lang! Matagal akong hindi nagparamdam kay Noel, which is unusual dahil I would normally wait for him sa YM kahit para akong tangang naghihintay sa wala. Naging kami ni Tom, pero still, never akong nagpatira sa kanya. Hanggang BJ lang, not that virgin pa ako, but that's another story. Anyway, I slowly felt that Tom is getting frustrated about that. Alam niyang hindi na virgin ang ass ko kaya bakit pa daw ba ako nag-iinarte. I told him that there is something in the past that traumatized me. I broke up with him immediately. I know that it sounds weird, pero I want a relationship that is not based on sex but on love. Apparently, that is not what Tom wanted. Siyempre, I was devastated by ehat happened and I swore that I'm never going to be in a relationship with a guy again. I started YM-ing again to reconnect with my friends and the first time I logged-on, Noel was also online. We had a conversation and told him everything about Tom, but not to the part na wala na kami. he replied "ouch!" to which I replied,"why?" Wala lang daw. That was the first time I drove him away. I never logged-on after that until few weeks before I go back to the Philippines to spend the Holidays there. I logged-on sa YM account ko, and he left me a message saying "Bakit mo ako pinaasa?" I didn't know that he liked me naman, pero I liked him even before pa. I replied, "R U playing with me?" Hindi ko alam na kakalog-on din niya. Noel: Huli ka! Chen: Hey! Buti nakalog-on ka. Noel: Hinihintay kiya. Bkt ngayon ka lang? Chen: Busy sa school. Noel: E, k tom? Chen: busy din. lol. I'm still lying. Baka kung anong gawin nito pag-nalaman niyang wala na kami! Oh, c'mon! Retarded ako , no? Noel: ouch. Chen: nasaktan ba? Noel: oo kaya! Chen: bakit ba? di naman kita kaanu-ano ah! FRIENDS tayo di ba? Noel: oo nga, FRIENDS. Chen: nywy, Im coming home this Christmas. Dec. 15 ang flight ko. Dec. 16 dating ko jan. Noel: 1st day ng simbang gabi? Chen: oo. gusto mo, visit kita jan? Di naman ganun kalayo eh. Pampanga ako. Noel: oo ba! Chen: baka naman matakot ka pag-nakita mo ako. Noel: lol. Chen: o bk nmn ma-inlove k. Noel: inlove na nga ako e! Chen: talaga? Noel: oo! Chen: marry me? Noel: lol. let's cross the bridge when we get there! That was the first time that Noel uttered those words, at ito ang magiging favorite line niya throughout the relationship! As expected, I was able to talk to my professors and they agreed to give me my final exams ahead. Right after my last exam, dumeretso na ako sa dorm para mag-empake. I'll just meet my parent at 6 o'clock sa San Francisco International Airport. we landed at Ninoy Aquino International Airport on Dec. 16. The first thing that I did was to buy a cell phone so that I could text or call Noel. Wala lang, trip ko lang. I was able to convince my parent to let me go to Olongapo from the 17th to 23rd. Lang pahinga. I have to meet Noel, para matapos na ang obligasyon ko sa mokong na 'yun! Kinabukasan,, kahit na may jetlag pa ako, umalis na ako for Olongapo along with my elder cousin as my driver. Maayos naman kaming nakarating. I was set to live sa bahay nila Noel for five days at ok lang naman sa mom niya. See, nobody knows kahit na sino ang tunay na kasarian namin ni Noel! hehe. That afternoon, we decided to eat out together. Kaming dalawa lang. We decided to eat at Greenwhich, kase la pang Greenwhich dito sa states! Dami Jollibee, Chowking, Goldilocks at Red Ribbon.. Balik tayo sa story, we ordered a Family size Hawaiian,, di naman talaga kami gutom.. para lang masolo ang isa't isa and talk about things. While he was eating, I was staring at him. Ang guwapo din pala niya. Mas matangkad siya sa akin. Ang cute niya, lalo na pag puno ang mouth niya! lol. Mahilig sa hot sauce. Haay... pero, di pwede. Ayoko na nang isa pang boyfriend.. one was enough. "Anong tinititigan mo diyan?" "Ah, eh, wala. Kain na tayo!" "Chen, I never imagined that I would be able to talk to you like this." "Noel, alam mo naman hindi ba?" "Yes, I'm just being honest." Patay! What if he's really telling the truth.. ako naman ang masama dahil sa pagsisinungaling sa kanya. Nakonsensiya tuloy ako. Napilitan akong magsabi nang totoo sa kanya. "Noel, since you're being honest with me, let me be honest with you. Wala na kami ni Tom." "What?" "Matagal na." "Eh, bakit hindi mo agad sinabi?" "Dahil there is no reason for me to tell you. Wala ka namang magagawa!" "Hindi mo ba ako mapagkakatiwalaan?" Dito ako napa-isip, bakit nga ba? Na-realize ko na tutuloy pala ako sa bahy nila for five says, Dun ko lang na-realize that although Noel and I have been chatting for months, he's still a total stranger! "Noel, calm down!" "I will not calm down, Chen! Akala mo ba laro lang ito para sa akin? Akala mo ba hindi ako naging totoo sa'yo? Lahat ng sinabi ko, lahat 'yun totoo!" "Hindi mo naman ako masisisi! Internet yun! Malay ko ba kung serial killer ka!" "Eh, bakit pumayag kang tumuloy sa bahay, kung iniisip mong killer ako!?" "Kasi alam kong hindi ka killer!" "Alam mong hindi ako killer, pero hindi mo alam na totoo ako pag sinabi kong nasasaktan ako?" "Di ba sabi mo, 'Let's cross the bridge when we get there?'" "Chen, WE ARE ON THE BRIDGE!" "Hindi ko alam. Noel, alam mo, meeting up with you might be a bad idea afterall!" Nag-walk out ako. Pero deep inside, I was cursing myself. Not that I was guilty of what I did. I was cursing myself, 'Gago ko, Chen, alam mo ba ang uuwiaan mo niyan?' Wala akong idea kung saan ako pupunta. Hindi rin alam ng pinsan ko ang lugar dito na naiwan sa bahay nila Noel. True enough, naligaw ako. Kahit pabalik sa Greenwhich di ko na alam. Mahina kasi ang sense of direction ko e. At last I gave up. Sobrang pagod na ako. Sa dami ng tao, talagang imposible nang mahanap ko pa si Noel. Nahihiya naman akong tumawag sa kanya. Lalo na't magtanong sa mga tao sa paligid ko. Baka akalain nila, dayo ako't baka ano pang gawi nila sa akin. Sobrang hopeless ko na nang biglang may humila sa akin. Si Noel. Niyakap ako ni Noel. "What were you thinking?" "I was thinking if meeting up with you was a good idea!" At this point, naiyak na ako. Tears of relief. I'm home! Sa mga arms ni Noel! Umuwi na kami ni Noel. Never na kaming nag-usap after that. Pagdating namin sa bahay nila, niyaya ko na ang pinsan ko para umuwi na ikinagulat ng pinsan ko at nang mom ni Noel. Pinigilan niya akong umalis pero ang sabi ni Noel, pabayaan na lang daw ako. Nagreason out na lang ako na may naghahanap na kamag-anak sa akin. Pag-uwi ko sa Pampanga, tinext ko si Noel. I told him that I am home. Safe. Di siya nag-reply sa akin. Lumipas ang mga araw, dahil sa jetlag, tulog ako sa morning gising at night. which made it more complicted since walang magawa. it made me think about that things that I've done. December 21st, naglalakad ako sa SM City Clark doing my Christmas shopping. I saw a shirt na bagay kay Noel. Binilhan ko siya as my present for him. December 22nd, pinilt ko ang pinsan ko to drive me back to Olongapo para naman mabigay ko ang present ni Noel. Pagdating ko doon, wala si Noel. Pero pinatuloy ako ng mom niya. At the same time, pinauwi ko na rin ang pinsan ko. Commute na lang ako pauwi via Philippine Rabbit! lol! Naghintay ako. 10:30pm na nang dumating si Noel. Nakakhiya man pero nakatulog ako sa sala nila dahil na rin sa sobrang antok. Di naman ako ginising ng mom niya. Pagdating niya, nag-usap kami sa labas ng bahay nila. "Anong ginagawa mo dito?" "Ibibigay ko lang sana ang regalo mo." "Hindi ko naman kailangan ng regalo eh." "Noel, sorry. The truth is even though I have told you those things, di pa naman yun ang lahat-lahat e. Kung pwede sana, hayaan mo muna akong mag-explain." "Sige, explain!" "The thing is, noong una pa, na-fall na ako sa'yo. Hindi ko lang alam kung ano ang nararamdaman mo towards me kaya I decided to give Tom a chance. Hindi ko rin naman alam na makikilala kita nang personal sooner!" Naging sobrang haba ng converation namin ni Noel, hindi ko alam kung ano ang pinag-usapan namin pero we ended up lie thius: "Sigurado ka bang mahal mo ako, Chen?" "Mahal kita. Mahal na mahal!" "Aalagaan mo ang psuo ko?" "Oo naman!" "Siyempre aalagaan ko rin ang puso mo..." That conversation ended up in his bedroom, kung saan i gave him my best blowjob. he did not try to persuade me to have an annal sex sex with him. I explained him a part of my past after thet. Pero, while I was BJ-ing him, puro "Ooooooh, Aaaaaaaaaah! Yeah, babe!! Babe. I've waited for this!!!" ang maririnig mo sa kanya. The thing is, hindi siya nag-mura throughout our oral sex. Hindi rin siya nagsalita ng akala niya ay maooffend ako. Like "kainin mo ako" or something like that...! lol. All he said was, "Yeah, baby. Mahal na mahal kita. Ang tagal kong hinintay ito. Hindi ko alam na magyayari ito sooner!" "Oohh!" "Babe, i'm coming!" Makailang beses ipinutok ni Noel anf kanyang sperm sa loob ng mouth ko, na buong puso ko namang tinaggap at nilunok. I saw that he felt guilty afterwards and told me that I didn't have to swallow it. Ang sabi ko sa kanya, I would've spat it if i Wanted to but I wanted to swallow it. Hinalikan ako ni Noel. Nag-espadahan ang maing dila to whicih I'm sure, nalasahan din iya ang kanyang sariling sperm. "Baby, let's make the 23rd as our special day since mag-tu-twnty three na. pero you have to remind me every month, ok?" "Baby, lalaki din ako, mahina din ako sa mga dates!" Tumayo si Noel at binilugan niya ang lahat ng 23 sa kalendaryo niya. Nag-decide akong huwag nang umuwi at patatapusin ko na ang pasko sa piling ni Noel. I helped prepare their Noche Buena. 10 to 12, nangatok na ang mommy ni Noel telling us that we could eat if we want to. But we didn't answer. Noel, was busy coveing my eyes for his present for me. I was in shock when he gave me a titanium ring. He knows na hindi ako pwede magsuot ng iba pang metal if not silver or titanium dahil may reaksiyon ang ibang metal sa balta ko. in other words, allergic ako. "Merry Christmas, baby!!" sabi sa akin ni Noel. I was speechless dahil sa surpreang ibingigay sa akin ni Noel. Hinalikan ako ni Noel, isang light at sweet kiss ang ibinigay niya sa akin. I light kiss turned into a passionate kiss which later turned into a wild one with tongue action. SAbay nito ay hinuhubaran namin ang isa't isa. Hinalikan at dinilaan ko lahat ng parte ng kanyang katawan. Isinubo ko ang kanyang matigas na ari. After about five minutes, tinanong ko siya, if he would like to fuck me... "Ok lang ba?" sabi niya. "Kakayanin ko, babe." Nilawayan ko ang ari ni Noel. Pinatuwad ako ni Noel at nabigla ako nang dilaan niya ang ass ko. Para akong mababaliw! "Aaaah, Babe. That was good!!" sabi ko. Gusto ko mang mag-mura, hindi ko kaya. I remebered how gentle and cautious he was the first time. Maya-maya, naramdaman ko na ang pagpasok ng ari niya sa aking puwitan. Masakit, oo. Pero kaya kong tiisin. Iba ito sa una kong karanasan. Mahal ko si Noel at hindi ito pilit, katulad nang nauna. Dahan dahan at may pagmamahal ang bawat pagkadyot ni Noel. Hanggang maramdaman ko na ang kanyang pubic hair sa butt ko. Dito muna sita huminto upang halikan ako. Masakit, masarap.. 'yan ang naramdaman ko. "aaah, baby. it feels so good!" "ang sarap, baby!" "Oooh! Aaaaaah!" hindi ko na mapigilang umiyak. I never expected na magagawa ko ulit na makipag-sex amidst my traumatic past. Mahal ko si Noel, at wala akong hindi gagawin para ka kanya. Kasabay ng mga paputok sa labas ay ang pagputok ng masaganang semilya ni Noel sa aking kalooblooban. Hindi hinugot ni Noel ang kanyang ari mula sa aking puwitan hanggang sa kusa na itong matanggal. Alam ni Noel na hindi pa ako nakakaraos, kaya, bigla niyang isinubo ang aking ari. "Noel, you don't haver to do this. I know, hindi mo kaya. Never mo pang ginawa ito!" "Chen, you told me that there is nothing that you wouldn't do for me. that goes for me as well." Sa madaling salita, binlow-job ako ni Noel. nangmakaraos ako, nilunok niya ang tamod ko. sabay halik sa akin. Niyakap ako ni Noel. "Chen, anong balak mong gawin after this?" "Marry me?" "Ha ha. Let's cross the bridge when we ge there!" January 15, I have to go back to the states. Ilang beses pa kaming nagtalik ni Noel. I could say na na-overcome ko ang phobia ko, na dulot nang pagmomolestiya sa akin when I was a kid. But as they say, long distance realtionship never works. It was exactly a month after namin maging mag-on nang makipag-break ako sa kanya. I'm such an idiot from driving him away, the second time. This time, there is no definite reason. Dala pa rin siguro ito nang psychological impact na dinala nang pagmomolestiya sa akin when I was still a kid. I know I love him still, pero ayokong umasa siya na babalikan ko pa siya sa Pilipinas. right now, I have no plans of going back since I wanna finish my studies, which is 7 more yearas. Ayokong m confine siya sa realtionship namin, ayokong hindi siya maging open sa pakikipag-realsyon sa iba. Mahal ko siya, pero ayokong umasa siya. Ayokong maghintay siya hanggang sa ako'y maging handa na, natatakot ako na sa pagkakataong handa na ako, siya naman ang hindi. Again, I opened my YM and he left me a message, saying that he loves me and he loves me still. Wala na akong magawa kung hindi manghinayang ang hayaang tumulo ang aking mga luha.